I’d like to tell you something. It’s not my way to hate. But sometimes I see news and social media posts that come across with such hatred, I often want to jump on their ugly bandwagon filled with their own cobwebs and skeletons in their own closets and shot out as loud as I can, “LET’S ALL HATE EACH OTHER!!!”
What a “wonderful” idea! Well, it’s something I think about because I know that if I were to say such a thing, I could just imagine how many negative comments would come back to me about what an ugly person I myself am. How can I say such a thing?! They might add, “Are you a member of society”, or perhaps, “You should be banished and put away for life for even thinking to speak that way!” And ironically (pay attention now…)- it is their very post that indicates their own destructive hatred – just that it’s said over in such a better and more sophisticated manner. This, of course, to clear those who actually say those terrible things of any emotions of hatred that they would – God forbid – have towards anyone else. They are surely the most loving of people who would not say a bad word about anyone!
In addition to their vulgar post expressing their hatred to another (for things often totally completely disconnected from their way of life), they will receive smiley faces, thumbs up “likes” and a variety of other “you go girl/guy” comments. But be the one to dare say the words “Let’s HATE each other” – and you’ll be immediately thrown out of the group, or simply defriended. “How can you say we should hate each other?!”
After recently seeing a somewhat troubling story show up in the social media this past week and commenting that I felt it worse to promote the Lashon Hara than to even do what was done, I received just one “heart” with a comment indicating an understanding of the points I had mentioned. The person who posted the post herself not only said nothing, she further heated up the promotion of the particular matter by posting further reports. I took my own comment down realising that no matter what I said, the hatred would remain. Not just hatred – an active show of it in order to promote – yes, more hatred.
This past week saw another uncomfortable situation with an El Al plane arriving late due to various complications and then the necessity to save a life(!) resulting in it landing on Shabbat. Reports went out that the Chareidim (religious – God-fearing Jews) had fought with and beat up the air hostesses as well as try to barge into the cockpit. Though I saw no video of the event, someone told me that she had seen the video showing the terrible violence that these horrible Chareidim did. (What terrible people!) And again I thought to myself just how much hatred there is from one Jew to the next. Anyhow, it didn’t matter how much I tried to convince her that this was not the case, the damage had been done! It’s not only that point, it is also how much it harbours inside them and how excited they are to express their hatred. What an experience! To be able to finally express in front of others my absolute hatred of another Jew – be gone with you! There’s a sense of satisfaction at being able to show up the other – that other ugly person who is a shame to society because their path in life is different to my own! Be gone with you!
I must tell you, the feelings one can have towards those who hate for no reason (why our Temple was destroyed) – can often be even worse than the general feeling of hatred! It’s a vicious cycle and one has to really work on overcoming the hatred towards a person who hates others for no reason. Yes – I’m supposed to show them love too!
But here’s the thing. The El Al event that went around making the rounds on the media, being shared on social media, causing further anger and hatred against Jews who fulfill the Mitzvot of the Torah – was not even true! Indeed, the El Al CEO admitted that Haredim didn’t riot on ‘Shabbat Flight’ and in fact, passengers denied the claims too! Where this mysterious video of the “thugs” beating up the air hostesses is, I have yet to see. I have only these latest articles to go by which point out that the passengers and CEO all agreed that no rioting happened!
The point of the story is that the damage is done! Those who have heard the rumours will forever conjure up the image of some Charedi Jew beating up a defenceless woman (perhaps) on an aeroplane flight meant to help them. And after all – if the Chareidim are so Shabbat observant, it was their fault for having taken the flight in the first place – so close to Shabbat! “Tsk tsk.. they do this all the time these Chareidim! They are such a nuisance to society taking away all the money from the government so that they can study Torah and beat up air hostesses on air flights!”
Ironically, the news of today expressing clearly that no rioting took place, will never hold water in their eyes. The damage is done!
This is the effect of Lashon HaRa. This is the effect that one has when one begins to badmouth people. It is horrendous. I too have instances in my own life where I can remember people saying nasty things about myself and the infinite effect those statements made – that though the truth proves them wrong, those who have already heard the message – believe what they hear even without ever having asked me if this was as they said it was. Perhaps you have experienced this in your own life too. If so, you’ll know what this damage does – and at the same time realise how easy it is to fabricate events to incite hatred amongst those you wish to see it incited by.
Recently on the news was another story of the ex-girlfriend of a young man who informed police that the boyfriend had beaten her up – though they had broken up years ago and the boyfriend had no knowledge even of where his ex-girlfriend was. The young man was arrested and was about to be sentenced to 99 years of jail when the mother of the young man stepped forward with a selfie-photograph she had taken at the very time the offence was said to have taken place. Clearly, he was not there at the time. But the police would well have believed this ex-girlfriend (after all, look at what she looked like! It MUST be true!) and send a young man to jail for his entire life – though he had been completely innocent.
Indeed, this is what we do with each other when we send across nasty messages on our social media. Messages we do not know the truth to. Messages of stories that should be dealt with by others – are dealt with by ourselves as we sign and seal the fates of those who may well be closest to ourselves. We do it all the time and it’s as if we say to each other, “Friends, let us HATE one another. Come on – what hating remark can you make for everyone else to like?” “Friends… Let us share another nasty comment about another – because I know I am fine – and I know you are too. You would certainly never find yourself in such a situation in life – as much as I wouldn’t. And we all know, if someone is reporting it on “x” platform, it just MUST be true! We are all okay. But this person – LET US HATE!”
I cannot tell you how my blood boils when I see these ugly messages and no matter how much one can try to correct the offender, the beautiful garments they wear, the perfect make-up, the beautiful use of words they choose – all disguise the revolting hatred they have for another Jew. They disguise the skeleton that lies in their own closet which they pray nobody ever finds out about. Their make-up is kept on their faces only too well to avoid showing the outside world the ugly face that lies beneath it.
How far we have come from the Mitzvah to love another as ourselves. How far we have come from a Temple destroyed because of our baseless hatred and more so – our fueled and fanned hatred that goes on every day. How far we still have to go. When will we learn to love? When will learn to be nice? When will we learn to say words of kindness and words of encouragement? When will be able to accept another who may be different to ourselves? When will we learn to desire the best for our fellow Jew? When will we learn to love for the sake of love – and to share this message on our social media?
Yesterday we were in the Galut (exile) because of this very hatred about which I write. Today we are here too. Most probably we will be here again tomorrow – and the next day… until maybe one day we will realise that most often, the awful things we say about each other are not – in fact – correct. Someday, just like the CEO of El Al stood up to acknowledge that the situation was not as it was made out to be – with the lie being believed – there will be that ugly person who spoke bad about one destroying one’s life who will stand up and admit, it was all a lie… What will the “nog schlepers” who promoted his ugliness have to say then?!
Pay attention to what you share with others. Pay attention to the lies and hatred they want to share with us. Examine it first very well before even considering to be a part of promoting their own vicious hatred towards others. Then you be the judge. But don’t judge when it’s too late already, because like the Torah teaches, Lashon Hara destroys three. It destroys the one who is spoken about. It destroys the one who is speaking it. It destroys the one who is listening to it.
